Your dose.

    Last 3 months, I got back from school. I opened my room door and as always I pushed the power button of my computer. Click on the internet browser, and start typing for facebook.

   Once I got in facebook, on my friend’s wall there was this one girl goes by the name Amanda. At first, she seems to be a very arrogant person. But once I got to know her, she was the coolest person to be with. Heck, she was the best person for me to end up with.

   Amanda, every time those name passes through my eyes, or my ears. It’s her sweet voice. Her sweet voice of singing Cuppycake by Strawberry Shortcake. My heart was melted by her actions, her words, and don’t forget bout her voice. Unfortunately, Amanda is very popular girl. She got all the famous, hot, and somebody to be with. I know I won’t have any chance, not an inch of chance. I got one secret, I got a no cure disease.

   Before I went to the operation room for my disease, Amanda called me “baby”. It was the sweetest thing and it was the saddest thing, I had to fight for her. I had to fight for her to continue calling me baby in the future. I survived the first wave. And there she was, telling me that she love me once she got the news that I’m fine. I felt like I’ve been completed by her voice.

   We went on our first date, it was at a mall near her. I bought a ticket, a movie called “Twilight Eclipse”. She watched it for the second time, and the second time was with me. It was a perfect date, she perfected my life, on that day she perfected my day. It was all about laughing and enjoying together. It was fun. I felt like I’ve been completed by her actions.

   Like normal relationship, everyone have ups and downs. She will always said that she is not a good girlfriend to me. She is not a romantic person. We was a inch from breaking apart. And there she was, stood there and said “hey, I guess my life wont be complete when there’s no you in it.” I grabbed her hand and said “If you could see my heart, it would have been better because when I’m with you, my heart smiled.” I felt like I’ve been completed by her words.

   It was a hot day, and It was our second date. We got lost in the mall, and took almost an hour to find her. She was standing at the opposite building. A completely wrong building. She was clueless, It’s one of the reason I love her. It was a nice date, we get to ride a F1 cab, the driver drive like a pro F1 driver. We watched “SALT” and to be honest, Angelina Jolie’s eyes aren’t as deep as Amanda’s eyes. We plan on watching the place at night, it was the most beautiful scenery around this area. Waterfalls, Le Gardens, Street Shops, and all those lighting. I saw a spark in her eyes, she was speechless. But I guess in her mind she said this “OMG, This is beautiful.” It was raining at that time, She bought an umbrella. And the umbrella cloth was inside my pocket. I realized it when I got home.

    The second wave started, I was rushed to the hospital. We talked for the last time on the phone. And then I was put to sleep and getting ready to cut open. By the time the operation was done, I couldn’t remember anything. Amanda was the only person who was here for me. She spend lots of days trying to make me remember, and I did remember stuff that I forgot. Thanks to her, I felt like I’ve been completed by her care.

    After the second wave, she changed. I just don’t know why. I can’t feel the Amanda I know. I don’t mind if she can’t be romantic, I don’t mind if she can’t be a good girlfriend. I love her for who she is. A small thing wont change my love towards you, Amanda. I felt like I’ve been completed by her flaws.

   I lied, I said everything’s gonna be fine after this. But the fact of I’m having cancer was hard to keep to myself. It’s burdening me. I can’t breathe. I told her the truth, and she said she got something to talk to me right after I said the truth. “I can’t lie to myself, I can’t have a commitment with you right now.” those words. Its like a needle in my heart. Punctured my heart with a little hole with the most painful pain ever. Is it just me, I don’t think I have the courage to fight for myself this time. I may just die as a cancer victim.

    Even though Amanda left me alone in this kind of situation I’m facing, I still want her to know, I felt like I’ve completed by you when you’re in my life.